Splatter – The Movie that Broke My Heart

That title is certainly a bold statement. I have seen a pantheon of the worst cinema has to offer. Uwe Boll, Batman & Robin, Planes, but nothing seems to made me upset with myself after watching it. There is always this silver lining of “At least watching this can make me appreciate other things more, rounding out my opinions and the like to not be as cynical”. Well Splatter in just 30 minutes managed to make me realize that a silver lining does not exist every time. A short look at a short film that makes me question whether my grading on Planes (F) was a bit too harsh, this is Splatter.

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The Belko Experiment – That Moment you Regret in the Office

Have you ever wondered what would happen if your workplace was overtaken by someone and you were forced to kill your co-workers? What would you do? How would you act? Well Belko Experiment gives you that exact scenario, with a flavour of dark comedy thrown in there. The killing game genre has recently been blowing up in the 21st century into somewhat of a cult phenomenon. While some gain mainstream popularity like Hunger Games and Battle Royale, many go under the radar in the Western market. This is a genre that treads a fine line between tasteless gore and nuanced psychological exploration. Much like what I feel in regards to the zombie genre also applies to this one as well across all mediums, it has slowly devolved into a tedious genre for fans of schlock and gore rather than the interesting takes on the human identity. There are many solid takes on the genre that differentiate themselves by defining an identity past the game itself, but does The Belko Experiment have that?

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Warm Bodies – Zombies in the Park

We have had enough of zombies in the recent years. Enough of the same old song and dance done with the same “shruggers” that follow a similar generic formula with similar results. It was like most said “Oh hey Walking Dead made a bunch of people love zombies, let’s make the buggers bleed green!” Thus we have an onslaught of zombie films and series! Nothing really groundbreaking in the genre most of the times and instead what used to be a slightly skewed topic for horror films in quality, turned into a landscape of mediocrity. Zombie films trying to be Shaun of the Dead, the next Walking Dead, or something popular enough to gain traction. Sadly that creates a lot of filler to wade through to attempt to find creative ideas. So when I came across Warm Bodies, a zombie film about sentient zombies learning to be human again, I was somewhat interested in the idea. I mean from what I have seen, there hasn’t really been a film executed quite like this. Yet with such a weird project like this, what could one expect from it? Well I can tell you one thing…it ain’t no Romero.

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Koe no Katachi – Emotions vs “Objectivity”

There is something absolutely rewarding when you come out of a movie feeling like you had a release. The release of anxiety, sadness, dealing with the world, or better known as the factor of escapism. Escapism is a perfect reason to watch something, to escape into fiction for about two hours in order to feel something. Some people escape into grand adventure epics like Lord of the Rings, or maybe one prefers an emotional romp on the senses like The Notebook. Before we get into the question I want to ask, let’s not think of escapism as a bad thing. In fact it is probably one of the best out of body moments one can have, to escape for just a moment into the world of a Miyazaki film is just magical and entrancing. Yet whenever we discuss escapism and emotions there is something some people always try to bring up when you talk about how much you loved the experience of a movie. What did you think of it objectively though?

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Ace Attorney (2012) – The Best Example of a Costumed Ball in the Courtroom

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is one of the more predominant visual novel adventure game series in gaming. The iconic poses, the objections, the distinct character designs and the over the top reactions, there is no way one who has come across such a series can really forget it especially when it has entered the pop culture space with memes and gathered quite the following outside of Japan. I have to be honest, I came into this knowing the first game in and out. I feel like for one to sometimes understand the adaptation, one must know the series well enough to see where the director or producer is coming from. Especially when that director is best known for his outrageous ideas and spectacle like Takashi Miike. The vision of Miike is clear throughout the film, but does this film have enough passion to make it a worthwhile movie worth viewing outside of the fanbase?

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Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva – The Gentleman Indiana Jones

The Great Detective is an archetype often found in classical mystery literature. Edgar Allen Poe’s Dupin, Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes, G.K. Chesterton’s Father Brown are the few that pop into one’s mind when the topic comes up. Our fascination with those who feel like superior intellects has yet to wane over time as we still create stories or versions of these same detectives or adhere to the tropes they create. One of the best known Great Detectives of the modern era is surprisingly the video game hero, Professor Layton. An archaeologist with a penchant for solving puzzles and getting oneself into mysteries, Professor Layton has become a bestselling franchise that has appealed to all ages and so why not dedicate a film to the character? This would call for an adventure with an eye for the science fiction, mythological elements and the grandiose nature of something like The Phantom of the Opera known only as Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva. Will the great Professor Layton land the first good video game adaptation in my search, or will all these aspirations fall short and succumb to being a subpar adventure film that dabbles in a bit of mystery?


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Prince of Persia, Too much Sand not Enough Plot

To take a break from my ongoing battle with the Resident Evil franchise, I decided to check out the one film that many say is probably the best Video game movie Hollywood has ever made. Now I know that is not very high praise, but I even remember watching this film when it first came out and kind of enjoying it. There were some good action scenes, decent acting, some fun characters, and lots of sand. For what it is, Prince of Persia could very well be one of my best chances at enjoying one of these video game adaptations as an actually decent film. So it is time to see if this is decent popcorn fluff or just another disappointment in a long line of disappointments.

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